Reveal Your Truth To Your Kids, Even If It Hurts

I’d rather they learn from me that not even “mommy” is perfect.

3 min readJul 16, 2021


Photo by Zen Chung (Pexels)

For many years, I was an open book to the older teens that I have mentored; revealing my human side, allowing them to speak about any and every topic that crossed their inquisitive minds; giving life answers from my perspective that were true and often blunt at times.

I always thought These students aren’t connected biologically and after all, I am here to give my guidance and experience to the degree am which topics of my choice. So, why would I waver when expressing the same to my children?

Tough questions I needed to answer.

As I have been raising my two children (the younger one is 11/the older one is now 21) single-handedly for 11 years, I have always wondered how much of my life (in detail) I want to give them when they ask? Will I honestly answer questions about my past? Or will I only provide the sides that I want my children to know?

So, when my daughter was 13, she asked me if I had a certain “experience” in my life; and my answer was yes. Before answering I knew this information would shock my daughter, confuse her or even change the way she sees me from that moment on.

She admitted that she and her peers at the time were having conversations about having babies and all that comes along with that. As a result, she ultimately wanted to know if I had ever experienced an….abortion.

Photo by Elizaveta Dushechkina (Pexels)

I never thought I’d have a loss of words.

After hearing her words, I felt a drop in the pit of my stomach. For the first time, “candid Tiff” was stifled, not knowing how honest I should be at this point or if I should refuse to answer the question altogether. I chose to be honest, allowing this conversation to be a teachable moment. I looked her in her eyes and silence came over me before I spoke the answer, “Yes.”

Her eyes widened, the look of shock washed over her face, and with a resounding, “Ma, you did?!” rang my ears. At that point, the “secret” was out, the cat was out of the…




Black woman | Mom by choice | Writer since 8 | Sarcasm Queen | My pub - | My podcast, Black Girl, That Girl - On Spotify